Do you sometimes wake up and feel there is something missing in your life? Then there is! You are not yet fulfilled and that part of you missing is trying to remind you to do something about realising the missing part.  Welcome to join the billions of people (world population now7billion) who simply walk the surface of the earth without a purpose.  Most of us simply exist; we do not design our lives.  There is some good news in our sudden realisation.  We unlike the other billions at least have realised there is something missing.  This shows there is hope for us as we have gone one step ahead of others who may never know there is a part of them missing. Realisation is one of the first steps to do something about our situation.

This is where I found myself in the past months.  Going through series of soul searching, while attending to a variety of women in my line of business.  I have questioned and wondered why things happen in particular ways with some of us and not with others.  I have taken it upon myself to search for answers and this has been a long journey of searching and researching.  I have taken on as much as I can to contribute to as many lives as I can.  Some of the ideas I found may be useful to someone out there as when I found them, I realised I could not just keep them to myself alone but to share to as many people that are willing to use it. These are my personal compilation of discovery from a variety of trials and errors, working with clients, NLP books, Personal Development CDs, Videos, mental development books etc.




Know who you are and what makes you a person.  You are unique and there can never be another you.  Take time to find out who this person called YOU is.  What makes you feel good, content, happy, excited and sad?  What do you bring on the table in every relationship? What would you like to do? Write down all your dreams, wishes, hopes etc. Once you discover who you are, start by taking control of your brand and protect it.  This is important as when you lose control, someone else will take control. Whatever you do, avoid handing over control of your life to someone else.  It leads to nothing but heartache and pains.  When we forget who we are, we start getting a feeling of emptiness, and a part of us missing.


Now you know who you are and what you want.  Start by searching for information and knowledge.  It is believed that every child is born with a blank slate of mind (Tabula rasa). According to Wikipedia, Tabula rasa is the epistemological theory that individuals are born without built-in mental content and that their knowledge comes from experience and perception. If we are to agree with this, then we have to work on making ourselves a better person. How can we become good at what we want? How would we gain knowledge in our chosen field? It is the process of searches and re-searches that will guide us to know what we want.  Do not allow any one person to feed you with loads of hocus pocus.  You have to search from a variety of sources and never stop seeking knowledge. The Bible has it very clearly – seek and you shall find.


You have found out a lot of things from your research.  Do something about it.  Information is the key to knowledge.  Take up training and education to get yourself ready and to be good in what you want.  “It is easy when you know how”. If you don’t train, you will never know how it is done and you will probably struggle for years to find a solution to a problem that could have taken a day or a few weeks because you refused to take up training. Your training /education is your investment into your dreams.  Other ways of getting information is to read, read, read.  Read up on other people’s experiences, successes, failures etc.  There are books on every experience in life.  Develop a habit of reading to prepare your mind for success.  While food nourishes the body, books nourish the mind with ideas.  Ideas are what we want in order to grow.  Ideas are what differentiate us from animals.  Ideas are what keep us thinking and we are what we think.  Give your mind the wrong idea and you turn out with wrong reality.


Practice the skills, knowledge and information you have gained from your training. Apply it constantly. Repeat it over and over again.  It will feel awkward at first.  This is normal.  Remember every expert was once a beginner.  This is your route to gaining experience and no one sells experience.  You have to practice, repeat, fail and continue to repeat to become perfect. Imperfect practice brings perfection.  Repetition is the mother of perfection.  Remember for every new role you take on in life, you are a baby in that role.  You must remember your baby steps in crawling, standing and falling to become an adult.  This applies to everything.  There will be challenges, obstacles, difficulties, hurdles etc.  Your willingness and determination to carry on is what will help you achieve success.  Never give up – follow your dreams wherever it is or with whatever it takes.  Remember, the only way to fail in life is to give up.


Watch what goes into your body as food.  In order for us to achieve our dreams, we have to be physically and mentally healthy.  We are responsible for what goes into our body and mind.  As mentioned earlier, take absolute control of what you expose yourself to.  In order for our life to progress forward, we have to be in good health and we cannot be in good health if we are not watching our food intake, exercise, relaxation etc.  Only a healthy body, mind and soul can think, plan and act to achieve success.


Now you have perfected your dreams, skills, education etc.  Write down clear goals of what you want to achieve in an order of preference.  Be very clear and specific.  Break them down into immediate goals and long term goals.  A clearly written planned out goals leads to achievement.  Take lessons from whenever you plan something and how you end up achieving it – a wedding, a birthday party, a naming ceremony etc.  The same way you organised and planned out how you were going to achieve those plans should also be the same way you write out your LIFE PLANS.  Work with yourself and write this out clearly.  It takes away the guesswork from life. This is where life then throws things at us and we start becoming frustrated and feeling lost. This is where experts teach us to DESIGN OUR LIVES instead of LEAVING IT TO CHANCE.


This is one of our biggest roles in life.  This is one of the biggest laws of nature.  You shall only reap what you sew. Turn this saying around and look at your life again.  Whatever you are today is a direct result of what you have sewn.  If you want to reap more, you sew more.  Lots of us today want to reap where we did not sew.  We also want overnight success where we will do nothing and get amazing results.  There is a difference between cheating to achieve overnight riches and growing sustainable wealth. Overnight riches achieved through cheating disappear within a short time and leads to frustration and depression while sustainable wealth grown from continuous sewing of knowledge, skills and ideas remains and prospers.  Examples such as Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Richard Branson etc comes to mind.


Obstacles and challenges are a necessary part of life.  These are the things that prepare you for a more difficult life ahead.  These challenges test your resolve, resilience, capability, strength etc for a more fulfilling life.  There are lots of saying that demonstrate this “no pain, no gain”; “to whom much is given, much is expected”; “when the going gets tough, only the tough gets going” etc. Life is definitely not meant to be trouble-free.  Successful people are people who have learnt to overcome obstacles.  Lots of people think successful people are a different breed who never encounters problems.  This is wrong and the sooner we learn that we all have our fair share of issues and obstacles to deal with, the sooner we will stay strong and face our problems head-on. For every opportunity we meet, there will be countless obstacles to overcome in order to succeed.  Success is therefore our ability to overcome obstacles.


No matter what situation you find yourself in, never lose sight of your goal.  This is another area where lots of us are getting confused.  We allow our present situation to distract us from the major goals we have set for ourselves.  Remember – what you think about, you bring about.  Our mind is an amazing machine and will only work on the instructions we give.  If you constantly worry about your personal circumstance, instead of looking at ways to move forward, your situation remains the same if not worse.  Things will only happen when you snap out of what is going on and think way ahead of yourself – “those who think ahead stay ahead”.  Let go of what is going on and focus on what you want to achieve and how to achieve it.  This is what the actions you take will bring about. And this is what will bring you out of your present circumstance.


Time is one of the most precious gifts we have from nature.  We do not pay for it and we all have the same amount of hours each day.  My question is, how do successful people achieve so much with the same 24 hours and unsuccessful people remember to claim they have not got enough time to do what they have set out to do.  Check your day, get a diary, write out what you want to achieve in a day and follow your plans religiously.  Do this for 90 days and check your results.  You will find that you can create time.  Value your time and use it positively. Avoid wasting your time on things that will not bring any positive results in your life. Once time is lost, it can never be retrieved.  We each have an allocated time to be on this earth.  We have no control over this part of our life.  Make the best of each day.


The world responds to you.  We need people to perform our daily chores.  What we give out is what we get back.  Make life interesting.  Introduce what I call the PEEL philosophy.  (PASSION, ENERGY, EXCITEMENT, LOVE).  Lots of people who succeed attract people to themselves.  How do you fit into a crowd?  Are you known as the boring, chip on shoulders, negative aura personality that everyone wants to avoid or the bubbly, full of life, exciting person who is going to brighten a person’s day no matter what they started their day with.  Bring love, passion, excitement and energy into your day and watch people flock to you for help.  Be prepared to help people you meet on your way at all time.  Ask yourself how you can contribute positively to your community.  The more you contribute to making other people’s lives better, the more the universe will pay you back in the form of reward.


Help make life exciting and a good experience for the next person you meet.  Make your natural gifting edify others you meet in your life and you will discover you would have achieved your life’s purpose and no longer feel the vacuum in your life.

My personal purpose is to share my knowledge with you in order to bring you success.

For comments, advise, information etc on this article, please feel free to email me.


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Joy Phido (SRH)

Natural Hair & Extensions Specialist, Consultant, Designer and Educator

Independent Business Consultant.


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